How Do I Get From Here To There

I was in Washington D.C. this weekend to visit my son. It had been almost 2 years since we'd seen each other and we were both anxious to get together. I was looking forward to celebrating his 32nd birthday and wanted to acknowledge him for having kicked a drug problem.

He and his housemate picked me up at the airport and drove me through the glittering lights of our nations capitol enroute to their residence outside the city. The feeling was high-tone and the conversation jovial.

As we approached the house my son rents a room in, I could see how shabby and rundown it looked even in the dim light. Once up the concrete steps I noticed cigarette butts scattered about the entry way. The address had a classy zip code but the property was not upscale.

We entered the house through the living room, a cluttered disheveled room containing a large, unmounted flat screen TV and a worn out couch. The kitchen off the living room served as storage for odd furniture, boxes, a bike and various other bits of this and than. My son sloughed off the messy ambience saying, 'well, what can you expect from 4 guys living in a bachelor pad'.

Motioning me on he stated 'this is my room' , waiting to see what my response would be.

My son is moving into the mid third of his life, that place where what one is doing is usually what they will be doing for the mainstay of the adult years. His residence reminded me of the kind of place most 20 somethings call home before they get what it is to actually be responsible in life. I did my best to conceal my disappointment and my son did his best to hide his embarrassment by joking and moving us out the door quickly.

Next we went to his favorite watering hole, his version of 'Cheers' the bar across the street. My son ordered me a glass of wine while downing a couple shots of something and chasing them with a beer. Before long he was off to the back stoop for a smoke, then back in to order another round of shots for him and his friends and whatever I wanted. It had been my understanding that we were going to have a drink with his friends and then go to dinner but when I reminded him of that he told me he wasn't hungry and was happy to stay right where we were for the rest of the evening. At that point I ordered a plate of onion rings and a beer.

At last call I was presented with a tab that resembled the national debt. I was angry and upset. My son had told me Friday night would be his treat and I agreed to take him out on Saturday evening. It wasn’t the spending of the money that bothered me but rather what it was spent on and the fact that I felt like I had been manipulated and taken advantage of. I was also appalled by his lifestyle and by the fact that I had not been wise enough to set some boundaries around the consumption of alcohol.

I had been living in the fantasy version of my hope for how his life had turned out following his drug addiction. Unfortunately however, not much had changed, he was still abusing substances and he had not yet become responsible for his finances. I had come to visit for the purpose of acknowledging how far he'd progressed, only to realize he hadn't made much progress at all.

After paying the bill and indicating my disappointment in spending so much for so little, I hailed a cab and went back to my hotel.

Next morning I awoke hung over and very upset with myself and him. I wanted to call someone but I didn't know who. I wanted to blame someone, but I knew that wasn't the answer. I wanted to crawl back under the covers and cry but I knew I couldn’t.

And so I got up, showered then headed out for a brisk walk. Following a cup of coffee and a good breakfast I felt more on track physically, but my mind was still spinning. I wanted to scream at my son for his lifestyle. I wanted to call his father and blame him for having done such a poor job of raising him, I wanted to berate myself for the ten millionth time, for having allowed my son to remain with his dad following the divorce. Mostly I wanted reality to line up with my desire to be happy.

I walked aimlessly feeling angry and upset. At one point I even found myself in a mob in front of the White House looking skyward, waiting for a view of the president's helicopter as it took off. Regardless what the distraction, my mood was one of doom and gloom.

I observed as I waffled between viewing the cup as half empty as compared to half full. I had to work at holding the highest thought possible, then another and another before I was able to release myself out of the groove of negative habitual thinking.

I clung to the notion that if I could just think one high thought after another, I would have a shot at giving myself a boost up over the top of this mountain of adversity. I knew the only way to do that would be to find something to be grateful for. I knew gratitude was the key which would leverage me out of the abyss I'd fallen into.

At first I found nothing to feel grateful for. Then as I passed an elderly man in a wheel chair seeing him triggered my gratitude for the ability to walk. I then noticed the beauty of the day and how good the warmth of the sun felt on my face and gave thanks for that. Now I was inspired. This inspiration gave me the urge to find a purpose for the day, a goal to move toward.

The only purpose I could think of was to become enveloped with inspiration. And so I headed in the direction of the National Gallery of Art. Once inside the east building I began to feel my energy rise. I was now feeling inspired by the creative works of others and feeling the surge of my own creative impulse.

I ate lunch next to a water fall then visited a book store and was eventually inspired enough to take out my camera and start shooting.

By 2 pm my son called. I could tell he was testing the waters to see if I was running hot or cold, was I going to rant and rave about the night before or would he get to skate on this one seeing as it was his birthday and I was only in town for 2 days. I spoke from the place of my cup being half full. I stayed positive and kept my cool. I could tell he was ready for a battle, I felt baited but I was determined to not loose my center. I did not allow him to hook me into a negative clash of tempers or emotional outbursts.

Originally our plans for Saturday evening were to have drinks at a fancy bar overlooking the city, then dine at a fine restaurant of his choosing, but instead of solidifying those plans, he ended the conversation by telling me to enjoy my outing and saying we'd connect later.

Once back at my hotel I opened my email and found one from my son who had sent me a message at 2 am that morning. He knew he'd messed up by running up the bar tab and then expecting me to pay for it, but instead of saying so he dodged a bullet by saying he was checking in to make sure we were 'ok' with each other.

There it was, the opportunity to tell the truth. I told him I recognized his problem with alcohol had escalated and suggested he may want to consider seeking professional help. I also told him that I loved him but I fond it to painful to spend time with him when he was drinking to excess.

He retorted with resentment, hurt feelings and the attitude of a victim. I suggested we meet for dinner but only if he had not yet started drinking. He didn't reply.

By 10 pm I sent him another email this time with a picture attached of him and a friend from the night before. I wanted him to see for himself what he looked like under the influence. I also decided to give him another opportunity to choose to do something different. I suggested we meet for brunch at noon the next day.

In the next e mail he agreed to brunch but after I replied, clarifying my preference for an alcohol free get together, I never heard back from him until 1:30 the following afternoon, after I'd checked out of the hotel and changed my flight to an earlier departure time.

Bottom line - this was not the trip I had planned, I didn't do what I thought I was going to do, I didn't get what I thought wanted but I got exactly what I needed. I saw how I'd been holding tight to the idea that my son was suppose to fulfill my expectations so as I would feel better about myself. I recognized the degree to which I have been attached to him being a certain way so as I would not feel guilty for having left him. I wanted him to turn out so as I would feel less like a failure as a mother.

I let go of all that this weekend. And as a result of letting go I disengaged myself from the image of what it is to be a mother, as well as from the image of what it is he should be as my son. I can't be hooked now by his attitude, behavior, his problems, or his addictions. I let go of it all by doing something different. By remaining positive, giving thanks and seeing the beauty all around me.

By restoring my own sense of well-being I was able to turn adversity into opportunity.

I couldn't know for myself that the process worked without working the process. The path of personal development is not new to me, the process of giving thanks isn't either but staying the course, not giving in to the negative programming, not falling into the groove of antiquated beliefs, this is new to me.

By working the process I saw that no matter how painful it was for me to watch him destroy himself, I wasn't going to be able to save him from himself. I understood that in no way was I guilty for not being able to save him from himself because this was not my job. My job was to provide him with the opportunity to see the consequences of his actions by staying true to myself.

As soon as I let go of the attachment to the outcome, I felt my energy shift. I felt high spirited and aligned with Source Center, despite the circumstances.

My son did call, at 1:30pm, to check in with me before I left. I told him I was good and let him know I was leaving. I could tell he was disappointed and that he didn't really get that he was the one who had set it all up to be exactly the way that it had turned out, but that was ok now. I no longer felt the need to lecture him or confront him on his actions, I was able to just get out of the way and allow him to be where he's at without trying to change him.

How do we get from where we are to where we want to be - by having the desire for something different and then by taking action. That's the only way anyone ends up having what they want. By believing before seeing we set ourselves into vibrational alignment with what we want and so it manifests.

I am home now and I continue to feel the gratitude and the joy synonymous with being in alignment with my own Source Center. I know this connection occurs when I do the right thing, I know that I get from where I am to where I want to be by staying focused on the positive and taking my shot in the firing sequence when it’s my time to do so.

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So Now Tell Me Again - You Did What At That Conference. . .

Three super hot motivational speakers headlining a personal development conference at a fabulous five star resort in the middle of the Caribbean, added up to both an inner out adventure of immeasurable value.

By the end of day one I realized I was not in my version of 'Kansas' anymore. What I mean by that is this. All the insecurities that come to the fore when one is in a large unfamiliar group, trying to stay hi-toned and be of good cheer, when in fact and in truth all the unpopped kernels surrounding worth and value are surfacing like sea debris at high tide, make for much in the way of discomfort. I knew from the get go I was not going to make it out of this one, personal baggage intact!

Each of the 3 speakers drove home a point that hit me right between the eyes.

Yossi Ghinsberg, teacher of 'survival is a choice', spent enough time lost in the Bolivian jungle to frighten the holy bejesus out of most of us, and him. And because he lived to tell about it, and was walking repetitively across a stage not more than 30 feet in front of me, I felt like it was my experience too. I felt the impact of his experience because even though I have not been any farther south than the woods adjacent my backyard, I could relate to his experience of being totally out of control w/out even so much as a hyper-link to help.

From the jungle we headed for the desert with Steve Donahue who told his story, complete with drum accompaniment, of his experience of the desert as metaphor for change. His pithy storytelling, humor and self-deprecating style were upstaged only by his ability to be totally present in the moment when sharing his feelings about his father being on his death bed as he spoke. Any closed hearts opened fully at this point and we totally gave it up, as a group, for Steve.

This conference required all of me in every moment. No time to worry about weather I fit in or if I was hair style appropriate. The fact that the extra 10 pounds I've gained in the last few years made me look matronly in group shots by comparison to the younger more juicy looking participants, paled by comparison to what had been experienced by the presenters on the stage.

The last speaker, Neal Petersen hit the stage running and never stopped. He drove home the point that 'in life there are no barriers - only solutions'. His nine months at sea alone, 27,000 miles in a boat on water, coupled with his determination to not let a little thing like 'Apartheid' keep him from fulfilling his dream, offered a whole new dimension to the meaning of the words courage, faith and tenacity.

And if that wasn't enough to open me to the full experience of who I am beyond the small insignificance of my ego-mind, a mountain of excuses and a slew of 'issues' there was the cloak of natural beauty which held me in a soft embrace. The ever-changing hue of light, the low hung cloud formations portending release, just in time for relief from tropical heat and the abundance of eye-popping color in the water and on land, were significant in upping my frequency and shifting my vibration.

The nightly serenade from the frog community and the early morning banter of the striking sapphire blue Parrots were the talisman of the whole experience, along with the emerald green waters and the heavenly scent of Plumeria blossoms and tree orchids.

Indeed this was an interdimensional experience. And just as I'd expected, I came back with way more than just pictures. To find out more about the group that sponsors these events go to www.polarismediagroup.com/alison

Ahhhhhmazing - Grace

It really is amazing how grace works. I was raised to believe that grace, like God, was outside myself. That in order to achieve the blessing of grace I had to petition the angels and the saints and pray for the best. It never dawned on me that grace, like God, was something that was energetic, a vibration that I held at my core. I had no idea that I could actually match that vibrational frequency on the outside by merely tuning myself to the grace frequency on the inside.

This awareness is just one of the gifts I've gotten as a result of using travel as a means to open myself to the possibilities. It really is true travel does expand us. Probably because when we go on vacation, we vacate the daily grind, relax and let go and when we do it's easier to hear that still small voice within. Instead of pushing the river we go more with the flow and as a result awareness is heightened.

Here in the Caribbean, where the energy of 'don't worry be happy' permeates the essence of everything, I feel in sync with the frequency of grace. The grace state of course is a vibration, a frequency on the dimensional ladder which requires one to tune themselves to a frequency different than that of the ordinary.

Within less than 24 hours of being here I recognized a subtle yet profound shift in my perception. At first I was out of sync with the energy. Like a dance partner out of sync with the rhythm of the music, I was stepping on toes. My pace was fast, I was quick to anger, I was unaware of the static associated with my state of mind.

Here in the middle of a vast ocean, on a small island whose frequency vibrates to a less structured, less dense, less stressful beat, I was able to hear that static and retune myself to the frequency of the grace-state.

Everything around us is a reflection of what is going on inside of us. From the most frenetic to the most sublime and everything in between, it's all us. It is truly amazing how the process works, how that frequency we associate with grace, something we feel blessed by on rare occasions, something we attribute to coming from someplace 'out there' actually lives with in us all the time.

Like everything else the grace state is a choice and requires nothing more than tuning ourselves to its frequency.

Personal Development

Yup that's right, the two words that attract the attention of over a half million people on Twitter are "PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT".

It's not so shocking really, not when you consider that everyone from Opra to The Donald have endorsed the fact that developing the human potential truly is the next frontier. The book 'The Secret' did a lot to set the wheel in motion as well. By alerting us to the fact that there is such a thing as The Law of Attraction, our curiosity was triggered and interest piqued. The movie version of the book brought the message home in living color. Now What??

How do we actually develop that which we have a propensity for, what is the practical application of the lofty ideal, who has the answers and where can I find them - ever had any questions like these, I certainly have.

What I've found in my search for a deeper meaning to life, is that the extraordinary is usually always right there in the midst of the ordinary. The easier something is to put into practice, the more likely I am to engage with it on a regular basis. Consistency does work because the more habitual and repetitive an action or a thought becomes, the more likely it is to make a groove in our subconscious mind, which burns a program we can eventually automatically download at will.

Positive reinforcement of that which makes a difference in a good way, not only supports the evolution of consciousnes but it also develops our human potential so that the things we have been trying to change or putting up with, clear up just in the process of life.

By engaging with the following 3 exercises in ritualistic fashion I've found them useful in boosting my energy on a daily basis:

Gratitude - Each day I set aside time, usually in the morning to give thanks. I start with the obvious. I can walk, talk, listen, see, taste and smell, all of these I am most grateful for. For the most part however, throughout my life, I have rarely recognized any of these as anything to be worthy of my gratitude specifically. As I give thanks for that which I've considered the mundane and the trivial, I actually feel my vibration rising.

Affirmative Thought - In monitoring my thought process I was amazed the degree to which I spent time slumming in the negative vibe. Negativity actually pollutes the energy field, forming a vibrational buildup which undermines the higher frequencies. This includes negative self talk, gossip, a dismal perspective such as a cup half empty as compared to the cup half full perspective. I'm able to catch myself now and give myself the choice to either continue the rant or go higher. That's a big win!

Visualization - Both the animate and inanimate have a vibrational frequency. When we visualize, construct in detail what we see in our mind's eye, we actually draw or attract those frequencies to us in manifestation. I find when I use my ability to respond, to create what I desire I'm empowered by the process of creation through me. . . .and I usually always get the parking space sooner rather than later.

Upping the frequency from victim to victor requires vigilance. Just because we bathed yesterday doesn't mean we don't need to clean up again today. I've been on the path of personal development for over 3 decades and yet every moment of each day is another opportunity to either go backward or move forward.

Being part of a world wide trend that is influencing the shape of the future is awesome isn't it!!

What The Fork-in-the-road Is This??

Moving house is never easy. Well, it doesn't have be 'hard' either, however, it is challenging to undo and redo ones life in form without skipping a couple beats. The very implications of moving holds within it the essence of new beginnings, rebirth. These germinating seeds of that which has not yet been considered, invites expansion. Expansion as we well know, is often accompanied by growing pains. Moving of course is metaphoric in nature. We move house when we need an outward manifestation of an inward shift that either has or is taking place, and requires acknowledgment of such in the physical.

Such was the case with myself. I'd changed geographic location (BIG move) just a short 5 months ago, only to have to repeat the process just a week ago. The packing tape on the old boxes was still sticky when I retrieved them from the storage closet. It seems I had shifted my inner foundaton just enough to warrant an outward expression of the same. When the driveway adjacent to my lower level quarters landed in my livingroom one rainy afternoon following a horrific storm, I came home to find the contents of my apartment floating.

The basement, that which is associated with dark, dank, unprocessed emotion, is usually the last place any of us seek out. I had ended up in the basement quite to my surprise, after years of emotional processing. I'd found the place on Craig's List and from a long distance perspective it looked like the perfect spot. Despite the owners zeal for home improvement, it was still a basement, a repository for the negative energies from above as well as a caldron of low vibratory frequencies. It was also damp and cold and there was no view. Even the cat was wet to the touch. None the less I had made home and was determined to make it work, no matter what.

Even after being almost washed away I hemmed and hawed over weather to relocate so soon after just having done so. The forces of nature assisted me with my decision straight away however. Nothing says " bye bye, get out of here, vamoose, split, hit the road" quite the way same way as does a washboard hardwood floor and the stench of mildewed carpet. I actually tried like crazy however to ignore the fact that the universe was sending me an engraved invitation to move on.

This was the proverbial fork in the road we hear so much about, that place where stubborn meets opportunity, and there is no choice but to pick one and leave the other behind. And even though I had my heels dug in and was insistent upon doing things my way, making it work, even though there wasn't any energetic signature for that to happen, just so as I could hold onto the modicum of comfort I had by remaining stable, I made the choice to let go.

It's been a sweet ride ever since I might add. I found a fabulous place with a birds eye view of The Great Smokey Mountains and it's dry, quiet and flanked by beautiful surroundings. In the end, when I finally let go, I won. I won because I came into vibrational alignment with the right place for me and recognized it to be such. I won because I chose to win instead of settle. I won because when it's all said and done, I am a winner and that's just way I choose to play the game, regardless the circumstances or the situation.

I've always thought it nothing short of brilliant, the degree to which the powers that be will go to ensure that the plan gets carried out for the evolution of consciousness and the development of human potential.

Personal Certainty - Knowing For Myself

I never thought much about cultivating a relationship with personal certainty. Until recently I've always felt pretty much tuned in to the world around me. At present however, I am needing to know more about that which I don't have time to learn or study, and so I have no choice but to call upon my natural knowing, my ability to sense the vibrational alignment with something, or not.

The hi tech world of the .com generation is challenging for me because it causes me to have to be really awake and alert, no time to go on autopilot here. I am being given the opportunity via my need to interact with the internet in my business, to listen with different ears, so as to hear the drumming of an authentic beat.

The vibration of our own knowing actually pulsates to a very high frequency. Just as dogs can hear tones we can't, so too can we tune in to that part of who we are which recognizes the difference between what's a go and what's a no. Weather we are 'educated' about the subject in question or not makes little difference, we either 'get it' or not. In a world filled with hype and half truths I've found it mandatory to cultivate the ability to know for myself.

Fear of the unknown had me stopped for a while but at the point at which I realized there was no hoover, I was either moving forward or going backwards, I became willing to do something different. Interestingly enough I took to the fine art of social networking like a duck to water. I am happy to say that so far Twitter, Facebook, and Linked In are showing the promise of becoming healthy relationships with good potential. Becoming internet savvy at the business level at first appeared to be a somewhat daunting learning curve. However as a result I've developed a stronger grip on my ability to know for myself.

Interestingly enough I'm about the business of promoting a new DVD which is all about learning how to 'know for yourself'. Given that we are in the throws of the 'miss'information age, a quagmire of half truths as thick as pea soup, we have to 'cowgirl up' (as one of my Twitter associates puts it). We have no choice but to become as aware as possible of how to determine what is so and what is not so.

Knowing for ourselves looks like becoming response ABLE so as to bring clarity and percision to our decision making process. Gone are the days when it is even an option to roll over and hit the snooze alarm, there's just to much hanging in the balance.

And so then learning how to determine for myself what the correct next steps were for me to take in effectively working with the internet, I had no choice but to rely on my inner knowing of what resonated and what didn't. Developing a relationship with the part of me that always knows is the most valued tool in my personal development tool box.

The new personal development movie Know For Yourself starts where The Secret left off. Learning how to apply the principles associated with the Law of Attraction is the difference between just having a hot car and knowing how to drive a hot car.

The energy in the trailer supplies enough of a high tech hit to trigger a vibration congruent with new octave awareness. This movie instantly conveys an enthusiasm for cultivating the ability to know from within, instead of depending on outside sources for information upon which to base a decision.

We have arrived at that place where this information is pertinent to our well-being, it is an instrument we can use to chart a new course in our desire to move forward. Without using the right key, the door will not be unlocked. We must learn how to deepen our relationship with our ability to know for ourselves, or we are in for a collision with fate.

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Because I Did That Thing!!

Yesterday I went to the DMV for a new license. The last time I did this I flunked the test, had to go back and retake it. This time I didn't have the luxury of falling prey to 'not knowing'. I had to take the test yesterday so as to get the whole process out the door, down the road and DONE before the end of Sept when my tags expired - they don't hand out tags unless you have a license from the state you are seeking to register the vehicle in.

It was almost 4 pm when I arrived at the testing site. I grabbed a book and started to cram. I could feel the onset of panic beginning to weave the threads of negative thoughts though my mind. What might it be like ridding the bus, living without the right to drive. Immediately I STOPPED myself from going down the path with the doomsday ending and began to visualize the completion of the test and me passing with flying colors. I literally pictured myself jumping up and down with excitement.

Before I knew it my number was called and I was positioned in front of a computer screen. The test began and I answered the first question correctly. The second question I got wrong, the third I answered correctly and the fourth question I answered incorrectly. At that point I stopped. I knew there was no way I was going to ace this test unless I did something different. I was allowed only 5 wrong answers and already had 2 and wasn't even close to half way through.

I remembered what I'd learned about everything having an energetic signature to it, a vibrational frequency that attracted like kind to like kind. I decided I would merely tune in to the vibration of the one answer which matched the vibration of the question being asked. I literally let go of trying to figure out the right answer and just tuned into what I knew for myself to be true from a vibrational stand point.

Interestingly enough I completed the test with no more misses. From that point on I answered each question correctly, even the ones I know I didn't 'know'. I was able to get in touch with the matching vibrations and in doing so was able to provide the correct answers to each one of the questions.

Because I was able to do this thing, I left the DMV not only with a drivers license in hand but with the experience of knowing I could create ANYTHING I wanted to using the same method of visualizing it already accomplished and tuning into it vibrationally.

I realized I'd not only gotten my 'drivers license' for the driving of a vehicle in 3 D reality but more importantly I was now licensed to move full speed ahead in the creation of my own reality on all levels. And because there is no order of difficulty in miracles, acing the drivers test isn't any different than manifesting a million dollar mansion or a multi 6 figure income!!! I am in the drivers seat now and ready for the ride of my life!!

Till next time, be well and take care